Actual Email, Details Redacted

Subject: Your Paper Makes SSRN Top Ten List

Dear James Taylor Lewis Grimmelmann:

Your paper entitled —— was recently listed on SSRN’s Top Ten download list for ——. …

As of 04/22/2009 your paper has been downloaded 11 times.

reminds me of Bob Uecker: “If they turned this ballpark around, we’d be in the front row!”

Hate to be competitive (actually, obviously I don’t) but I got one of those suckers once for one sad single download.

Okay to call you “James Taylor” from here on out? :>)

But that won’t stop the law school’s Communications Office from issues a press release.