Why I Have Not Blogged Yesterday or Today, a Partial Explanation

Riddle me this: why did the mofo who took out a Kohl’s charge card using my name (misspelled) and bought $500 of housewares also sign up for “Account Ease” protection, which would cancel his (read: my) balance if he (read: I) were hit by a bus?

That’s pretty funny. But I’m equally puzzled about his choice of items. I’d expect someone with a stolen identity to go for either luxury items (gigantic tv, flashy jewelry) or necessities (food, prescription meds). A mixer and a set of cutlery? That sounds like somebody buying stuff off a wedding registry. Poor desperate guy, didn’t he know that he has a year to send them a gift?

Perhaps the fraudster in question works as a bus driver in your area. I would urge you to be particularly careful crossing the street until this issue is resolved. :)


My question isn’t why you didn’t blog yesterday or today; my question is how the hell can you blog this much!! My god, man, I’m sitting here trying to get a read on you and after a good amount of reading, I realize I’ve only wandered back about a week of posting for you!

Slow down! Have a shake!

Maybe it was strategic: signing up for “Account Ease” helped to lull the credulous customer service representative into believing he was, in fact, James Grimmelmonn (or whatever). After all, if he was a fraudster, why would he bother?

Perhaps your grandfather’s distrust of credit cards is not misplaced. Or maybe you were keeping your financial data on a hard disk instead of on floppies as he advised you to do.

Why is it necessary to apologize for not posting in a day?