A Theory of Jealousy

A friend of ours puts up with waaaay too much suspicion from her boyfriend. I’m not sure whether it’s a commentary on him or on us that he decided he had nothing to fear from her circle of friends once he’d met them. But he still doesn’t like the idea of her going to parties when he’s out of town, and demands to know such things as what she’ll be wearing, who she’s going with, and how much she plans on drinking. Seeing this led us to formulate a theory about jealousy within a relationship:

If you’re worried about and suspicious of your partner, it is always your fault. If your fears are baseless, then you’re bringing your own insecurity into the relationship and undermining the shared trust that it needs to flourish. If your fears fears are true, then why exactly are you seeing this person?