The Biggest Balls

Conan, what is best in life?

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women.

John Milius and Oliver Stone, Conan the Barbarian

Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Columbian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad.

Neal Stephenson, Snow Crash

Ohhh, what on Earth would make a man decide to do that kind of thing?
Ohhh, windin’ up twenty-one thousand, one hundred forty pounds of string!
What was he tryin’ to prove?
Who was he tryin’ to impress?
Why did he build it? How did he do it?
It’s anybody’s guess.
Where did he get the twine? What was goin’ through his mind?
Did it just seem like a good idea at the time?

I’ve been all around this great big world and I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather go to
Than the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

Wierd Al Yankovic, “The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota”