Take THAT, Frogs!

In the spirit of freedom fries, I'd like to offer a few more suggestions for those eager to deliver symbolic smackdowns to the French:

  • Send back the Statute of Liberty! This Parisian hussy and her open-border policy have no place on our freedom-loving shores!
  • Move the capitol! Our nation's seat of government was laid out by a Frenchman, which explains why it has so many lily-livered rotaries, instead of solid American intersections.
  • Impeach Thomas Jefferson! The man was our ambassador to France, for goodness sake. Talk about aid and comfort. And we should deal harshly with that Ben Franklin creep, too.
  • Undo WWII so we can give France back to the Germans! No, wait, the Germans are on our snit list, too, so cancel that one.
  • Abolish democracy! The guy who wrote "Democracy in America" was another filthy frog, so we shouldn't be having none of that here.
  • Fight the Revolution again! Back when we kicked England's butt and won our freedom, the French insisted on horning in. We should go back and prove that we could have done it all by ourselves. After all, that's how we're going to do this next war.