Final Exam

Directions: All questions count equally towards your final score. When time is called, close your examination booklet and wait for the proctor to collect it. Write your answers using a number 2 pencil or a green crayon ONLY; the use of any other writing implement is strictly prohibited and may invalidate your score. Good luck!

1) For purposes of this question only, you may assume the existence of life on other planets. a) Using words of two syllables or less, give a precise medical definition of "explosive nosebleed." b) Induce one in yourself. c) Take appropriate measures to deal with the situation.

2) Examine your conscience and represent the contents using the tropical hardwood you have been given. Plan ahead: if you run out, you will not be supplied with more.

3) In what senses can Julius Caesar be said not to have existed? List four.

4) You have been provided with the mangled carcass of a lion. a) Locate the head. Count the whiskers. b) Embrace, cuddle, or comfort your lion. Take a picture. c) Determine the sex of your lion. d) Using the tools provided, embalm it. e) Construct a suitable sarcophagus for your lion.

5) You will find before you several pieces from paintings by Rene Magritte. You know what to do.

6) Sketch a design for an escalator or elevator (your choice) for the use of a species lacking opposable thumbs.

7) Trace your hand on the provided piece of paper and carve the provided ham hock to match. Do not forget the blue dye.

8) You will find a box in front of you. a) Open it. b) Describe what you see. c) Close the box. d) (optional, only if you have time) Open the box again.

9) Translate the supplied passage into a language of your choice, with the exception of French, Korean, or Hungarian.

10) Describe how to destroy an ordinary armchair beyond all recognition. Show your work. Do not exceed the space provided.